Where's Bailey?

We had a really scary experience last Thursday, and I wanted to blog about it but honestly, every time I thought about doing that it brought tears to my eyes again. So it's taken this long...

This is the first year the kids have ridden the bus to school. Spencer walks, but Bailey and Abbey get to be "bus riders". The bus stop is right on our corner...three houses down from us. I spent the first few days going out in the mornings to wait with them to get on in the morning, to make sure what time and do the whole "stand HERE, not HERE...too close to the curb". And also to do the whole, "Someone comes by and offers you a ride to/from school and says your mom said it was ok. You do what"?? Abbey says, "do you have the password"? I say, "No, your mom said it's okay". She says, "No"! Good girl! So then I say, "what's the password guys"? With a resounding "ONE HOT MAMA" and alot of laughing, I knew they were prepared!

After school, I hear the bus, then I hear screaming, laughing, running kids. Abbey is always the first in the door, and the first thing out of my mouth is always, "Where's your brother"? Abbey always says, "He's coming", and in he comes about 30 seconds later. K, just a ritual to not only remind her to be aware, but to, I don't know, ease my guilt for not walking the 100 steps to the bus stop to make sure? Anyway, so last Thursday, same as usual, same ritual upon coming in the house. Thursday is cub scouts for Bailey, which starts at 4:30, and they come home at 4, so it's snack, change clothes, out the door. So at 4:15 I'm hollering up the stairs for Bailey...of course he's not answering. Hollering louder...okay, going up the stairs. Not in his room. Since he spends an exorbitant amount of time in the bathroom for a 9 year old, usually singing all the while, I check there. Nothing. Downstairs again.... "...if he's on that X-box, he's dead meat"... I'm thinking this to myself. Nope. Now I'm asking the other two where he is, Isaac had just walked in the door about 5 minutes earlier, and now we're starting to panic. "Abbey, where is Bailey"? Abbey says, "I don't know". Me, "Did he get off the bus"? Abbey, "I don't know". You can imaging the grilling she got trying to get details out of her. Now we're in FULL ON PANIC MODE!! I call the school, explain that my son may or may not have gotten off the bus, but if he did, he is nowhere to be found, it's been 20 minutes since the bus came". She wants name, teacher...bla, bla, bla..., I'm trying not to scream at her to FIND MY SON! She puts me on hold...comes back to tell me his teacher put him on the bus, so he did ride it home. More panic. I ask her to call the "bus barn" to find out if he got off the bus...I'm on hold way too long...hand the phone to Isaac and say, "Here, sit on hold, I'm calling the bus barn myself" and get on my cell phone. Thankfully, he had just missed his stop and the bus was coming back around to drop him off. All I could do was stand there, frozen, but shaking, and just stare! Staring at Isaac who is staring at me. In that moment we hear the bus, and I kid you not, not only are Isaac and I out the door, but Spencer and Abbey are out running as fast as they can. We come back in the house, and Bailey just starts bawling! Sits on the floor and cannot speak he is crying so hard. Silent crying, but oh my gosh. Finally get him talking, no, nothing happened to him on the bus by anyone else. He said he realized he missed the stop right as the bus was pulling away. We asked him if he went up to tell the bus driver, and he says, "We're not allowed to walk on the bus". So he spent the next 20 minutes scared out of his wits because he just thought "too bad, so sad, you missed your stop". He thought he would not have a way home and, I don't know, he'd have to spend the night in the bus?? We sat there on the floor together, and I tried so hard not to cry and show him how scared I was. Needless to say, he did not want to go to scouts. Did not want to leave the house. Every time I thought about it the next couple of days, and believe me it was ALOT, I would just start tearing up. I've thought about how far someone could have taken him in the 20 minutes I didn't know he wasn't home. What someone could have done in just those 20 minutes alone, not to mention.....

So I am the loser mom of the year. Bad, bad Mom. Do I think I should stand at the bus stop every day? No. But you bet I've made sure he's come in the door each time.

I am so thankful for the blessings in my life. I am so thankful that nothing happened to him and that it was just a "silly mistake". I was literally praying in my head and heart the entire time! Each morning I send them off to school, feeling assured that they've reached their destination, and that the school and it's teachers/staff will keep them safe. I never want to experience anything like that again in my life!! We've had alot of talks in Sacrament Meeting lately about family. About how no matter what happens in your life, it all comes back to family. Yes, it does. Losing one of my kids is the worst nightmare I can imagine. As a Mom I pray for their safety every day. Thankful does not even touch how I feel...